Now it was time for Meeral [our second child] to come to life and to live the exile experience at our tiny home. The same pain was back again. One night, I called Oudai while he was at work because I was in pain and afraid to be alone. He told me to go to the neighbors’ he would send his mother and take me to the hospital. After thirty minutes he arrived, I felt as if I had been in pain for thirty years. I was in labor for nine hours. Finally Meeral started screaming.
I looked at this beautiful fragile and cute face and my heart was stolen immediately. I called Oudai from the labor room and told him that I just had a baby girl. He was laughing at me because I had just been crying from pain. But by then, I had already forgotten that pain. After we went home, it was a big surprise for my son Samer — a baby sister who would share his toys. It took him a while to come to peace with the new reality. Meeral grew up so fast and when she was eight months old, they started fighting. At that time, I received a surprise visit by two workers from a humanitarian organization. The woman’s name was Joelle Eid and the man was called Marco Frattini. They had come to assess our situation. I liked them a lot and they loved my family. We quickly became friends.
During that period, I also kept contact with my family back in Syria. One day, my brother called and told Oudai that he was leaving for Europe by sea and Oudai could join him if he wanted. He explained that you can start a new life and live a better situation there. Oudai had already been thinking this way. Everybody was leaving for Europe so why not us?
We discussed the issue and agreed that our main focus was to secure a better future for our kids. We asked about more than one country and the choice was Germany. Later on, I came to regret that choice. Oudai made up his mind to travel [alone, ahead of us], of course with my permission, and told me that he would apply for family reunification once he arrived. A month after my brother’s call, Oudai was ready. We sold our household items and moved in with his family. Five days later, Oudai had bought a ticket and was ready to leave.
I will never forget that night. Every time I remember those days, I start crying. It was harder on me than the actual departure from our home in Syria. The pain was greater than going through labor. It is like your soul leaving your body. I wish I will never live this moment again. That night I cried non-stop. There were only few hours until Oudai’s departure. When he said good morning and asked me to take care of the kids, then left for the car, I felt my heart split into two parts. I felt a strong pain in my left side and my tears could not stop falling for four days. I knew the suffering that I would have to face when he left. I already missed him within one hour when he sent me a picture of his boarding pass and a message that he was boarding the plane and he loves me so much.
Age: 26
Country of origin: Syria
Civil status: Married to Oudai (in Germany), two children
Current residence: Jordan