We get into a car for 12 people but we were 4 people, with the driver. It is evening just before sunset. I look out of the car window to observe this new country I will be a refugee in — a country completely different than my own. The topography, the geography and the customs and traditions of people I have never lived with.
After 45 minutes on the roads, I can see in the far distance a land all covered in white at first glance — you would think it is a cotton field. It cannot be cotton because it wasn’t the season, I thought to myself. As we got closer, the white color begins mixing with a blue one and the image becomes clearer and clearer. It was not a field of cotton but one where tents had been built and on top of them a blue word: UNHCR.
We got closer to the entry gate guarded by Jordanian police officers and I suddenly get the feeling of wanting to escape from the car and I find myself screaming at the driver: “Stop! There is a checkpoint, they will detain me. I haven’t done my military service.” He answers with all gentleness: “Calm down, you are in Jordan, they’re here for protection and safety.” We entered the camp just as the sun’s last halo had disappeared.
We got out of the car and the driver points towards a big tent he tells us is the reception tent, next to it a small kiosk made of steel where we would get our blankets and a meal. I grabbed my wife’s hand and we entered the big tent. My wife’s hand was wet because the paper towels she had on her where not enough to wipe all the tears that came with being away from our nation, our family and loved ones. I will never forget the first teardrop that fell from her eye back at the border when the guard lifted the barbed wire and she bent over to cross. One teardrop fell down and she said: “I don’t want be a refugee, I want to stay on Syria’s soil.”
After entering the reception tent, I chose a spot on the floor to sit on. The floor of the tent was soil separated by a piece of Nylon. I then left my bag and my wife’s bag, and left the tent with my wife, holding hands.
To be continued.
Age: 26
Country of Origin: Syria
Host Country: Germany
Civil Status: Married to Alaa, with two children (wife and children in Jordan)