Beginning in January 2017, 26-year-old Oudai Al Homsi began detailing in his MIRA blog his harrowing escape from war-torn Syria, and then his dangerous Mediterranean and overland crossing to Europe. While Oudai had decided to spare his wife and their two young children the dangers of crossing the sea in a rubber dingy, he had hoped that the family would be reunified soon after he sought asylum.

After more than two years in Berlin, he has earned a certificate in German and found a job at the city’s transport agency, but because of Germany’s fragile political situation, his family remains stuck in Jordan. 

After blogging about his experiences on MIRA’s Our stories page, along with his wife Alaa, Oudai’s story has been featured on TRTWorld news and in a two-part article in Refugees Deeply. As his story has reached more people, Oudai has become an outspoken advocate for refugees in Berlin seeking to reunite with their families — to ensure a safe, secure, peaceful and productive future for all.  

He recently collaborated on a video project with renowned social activist photographer Sujatro Ghosh and continues to advocate for the reunification of his beloved family — and all those families separated by conflict and political strife in Europe. We are proud to have helped Oudai to make these voices heard.

A very happy holiday season, and Happy New Year from everyone at MIRA — and especially from Oudai, who is excited that his beloved family will be joining him soon.

​THE MIRA TEAM WISHES YOU A JOYOUS AND PEACEFUL 2019!!!

My self-confidence is deteriorating every day in front of the Parliament dome. My predictions never failed me. At last, the parliament voted to bring in 1,000 persons from Syria’s neighboring countries. The total number of protected persons in Germany is 65,000 persons and they are all waiting for family unification and I am one of them. This means that I must wait for a year, two or even five years to be reunited with my family. This is how long it will take to process all applications.

I clueless am to when my turn will be to live under one roof with my family in one country. This is my dream and the dream of my wife and now that my children started understanding life, this also became their dream. It is the dream of my wife to move from the virtual house that we live in right now through social networks to a real house of four walls and a ceiling on this earth. 

My life will be threatened if I go back to Syria and I am forbidden from going back to Jordan. It is like I swallowed a double edge sword. If I continue swallowing it, it will kill me and if try to take it out it will kill me as well. I have done all in my capacity in Germany. I have complied with all laws even before they started enforcing them, however it is hard to catch up with the new regulations. I am wondering of these are laws or hurdles. I prefer to call them hurdles, because conditions can be met, but hurdles need to be removed.

Lately, I signed a contract with Berlin Transportation Company (Bracticom) to start the preparations for the vocational training. This was a step in the right direction. I feel happy as I get to know new people and my time if filled with work and duties. However, when I come home in the evening and open the door and start looking at the pictures of my family on the walls and picturing them how excited they will get when they see me coming home and the way how they will race to the door to greet me, my feelings flare up and I start talking to the pictures.

I keep saying, when will that moment be a reality and not a dream? I keep the dream to wake up one morning to check the calendar and find that it is the date for to go to the airport to receive my family. Is this a dream or did they cancel the flight route between Jordan and Germany and all flights were cancelled?

The election bell can be heard and with it the sound of our heart beats. Immigrants are asking themselves whether the winners will be opposed to us or not. At the end of the day, the elections closing bells were heard, waiting to hear the winner.

To our surprise, the winning parties went into a political process to form a government and the main theme was immigration. Some of them like refugees to be fried, other grilled, others boiled, etc. They changed the laws and manipulated the feelings of separated families spread across the continents. Nowadays, they are asking for a freeze on family reunifications and some parties are imposing impossible conditions for reunification. 

German political parties have no feelings and seem inhuman. They manipulate the feelings of refugees without any recognition for their achievements that took place within a short period of time. These should be respected and appreciated. As of today, I have completed two years and two months in Germany. I landed here without any knowledge of German and today I have an advanced degree in German in addition to a course in political science and the history of Germany. I passed these courses with high marks.

Within two days, I will sign a contract for training at a German company and after that, I will not get any government support. All of this was not respected by the German political parties; they lie and deceive people. They hand down decisions about people’s refugee status, and when the time comes, they change the law.

In my country, Syria, the war consists of tanks and fighter jets and you can see blood. In Germany, the war is among political parties and refugees die their feelings being manipulated. The wars in Syria and Germany are the same, but the torture techniques are different. Almost two years and a half on, and I am still waiting for my family and kids to join me. Meanwhile, the political parties’ war is still going on.

His journey to Germany lasted 15 days. Our communication during that period was scarce. My joy was unimaginable when he made it to his dream destination– Germany.

Now our tiring journey really started as he began to apply for his residency papers while I took care of the two kids in Amman. I had to endure long hours of no sleep when the kids were sick — my life was miserable without Oudai. He used to comfort me sometimes and I used to comfort him some other times.

We used to tell each other that tomorrow we would reunite. Unfortunately, my suffering in Jordan is still ongoing however, because of the unfair system in Germany. He is still alone in Berlin after nearly two years. They gave him a temporarily protection status, which prevent us from applying for family reunification until 2018.

Now it was time for Meeral [our second child] to come to life and to live the exile experience at our tiny home. The same pain was back again. One night, I called Oudai while he was at work because I was in pain and afraid to be alone. He told me to go to the neighbors’ he would send his mother and take me to the hospital. After thirty minutes he arrived, I felt as if I had been in pain for thirty years. I was in labor for nine hours. Finally Meeral started screaming.

I looked at this beautiful fragile and cute face and my heart was stolen immediately. I called Oudai from the labor room and told him that I just had a baby girl. He was laughing at me because I had just been crying from pain. But by then, I had already forgotten that pain. After we went home, it was a big surprise for my son Samer — a baby sister who would share his toys. It took him a while to come to peace with the new reality. Meeral grew up so fast and when she was eight months old, they started fighting. At that time, I received a surprise visit by two workers from a humanitarian organization. The woman’s name was Joelle Eid and the man was called Marco Frattini. They had come to assess our situation. I liked them a lot and they loved my family. We quickly became friends.

During that period, I also kept contact with my family back in Syria. One day, my brother called and told Oudai that he was leaving for Europe by  sea and Oudai could join him if he wanted. He explained that you can start a new life and live a better situation there. Oudai had already been thinking this way. Everybody was leaving for Europe so why not us? 

We discussed the issue and agreed that our main focus was to secure a better future for our kids. We asked about more than one country and the choice was Germany. Later on, I came to regret that choice. Oudai made up his mind to travel [alone, ahead of us], of course with my permission, and told me that he would apply for family reunification once he arrived. A month after my brother’s call, Oudai was ready. We sold our household items and moved in with his family. Five days later, Oudai had bought a ticket and was ready to leave.

I will never forget that night. Every time I remember those days, I start crying. It was harder on me than the actual departure from our home in Syria. The pain was greater than going through labor. It is like your soul leaving your body. I wish I will never live this moment again. That night I cried non-stop. There were  only few hours until Oudai’s departure. When he said good morning and asked me to take care of the kids, then left for the car, I felt my heart split into two parts. I felt a strong pain in my left side and my tears could not stop falling for four days. I knew the suffering that I would have to face when he left. I already missed him within one hour when he sent me a picture of his boarding pass and a message that he was boarding the plane and he loves me so much.

I always had a feeling of guilt that everything that was happening to Oudai, being tired, immigration and being taken away from our families and houses was because of me and my son. However, I didn’t know where this feeling originated, or maybe it was just the way of human nature; you love someone from deep inside your heart, you would like to see them comfortable.

After ten days, Oudai’s family arrived at the camp and we got out of there with a guarantee from one of our relatives, who has been living in Jordan for many years. We got out, not knowing where we were going or what was awaiting us. We rented a place near the Syrian border in a  village called Al-Bweidah. After a week Oudai’s family got out the same way and lived with us for two months. I woke up from my sleep at 3 in the morning with a pain in my stomach, I woke Oudai up to tell him that the baby was coming, I cried and he laughed with joy.

Let’s go to the hospital, Oudai called to his mother. My pain was increasing and I could not take it anymore while I was going through labor. I was alone and these were the hardest moments in my life as if I have ever lived before. The pain was immense and I believed that life had closed all doors. After seven hours of continuous pain and with my last scream, I heard the scream of the newborn, who came to life healthy.

When I first saw him, while he was crying I started crying and I do not know who I said it to, but I told him: “Do not cry my baby, I am here next to you”, and I hugged him and stated nursing. For the first time in my life I felt as though I was mature now and a mother responsible for helpless baby who could do nothing without me.

Hours later, we were at home with mixed feelings of motherhood, love, joy and sadness. They all seemed the same. I am now in tears while writing this. Oudai’s mother as well as neighbors were so happy for us and helped us a lot and took good care of us. A month later, we moved to Amman because work was scarce in the village and we were told the capital had better opportunities.

We settled in a building downtown adjacent to the Roman Amphitheatre, which was the only place you can see many people, and where you feel good. My son grew up playing on the Amphitheatre stones, which witnessed many civilizations. When my son was a year and half old, I became pregnant with my daughter Meeral. Our life was very simple. Oudai was working at a traditional Jordanian clothes factory and I was at home with his family. When I knew that I was pregnant again, this time with a baby girl, I was so happy to have a sister for Samer. Nothing is better than having two children filling your life with joy.

Months later, Oudai was getting tired from the endless demands of life and he started a second job to secure our needs. Of course I could not finish my studies as it is costly and I could not work to support Oudai and leave my kids alone. However, God was watching over us.